Lucy Mannion
Naked Politics Blogger
Coming down from the high of so-called Super Thursday I can’t help but reflect that the elections looked a tad dry, Conservatives on UKIP, Labour beaten by the SNP, the Lib Dems wandering somewhere on the periphery with the Greens for company….my question was, where are the Monster Raving Looneys?!
The answer; they’re still kicking about, after the demise of Screaming Lord Sutch, I assumed his party went too, but no. However, minus his bizarre leadership they’re not as visible anymore, despite fielding 27 candidates in the last general election. Leafing through their manifesto, I’m glad to see they’re continuing to stick up for animal rights, with their promise that they will make it permissible for all animals to use Zebra Crossings to cross the road.
With many residing in safe seats where there is no point in voting, at least parties like the loons give people the option to register their protest. I started pondering about what other weird and wonderful parties have made it on to the ballot paper in the UK. So here they are in a dramatic countdown style!
At Number 10: The Miss Great Britain Party
This party barely managed to keep it together for a year before being deregistered by the Electoral Commission. The party was founded by a former chairman of the Miss Great Britain contest who revealed he wanted to bring ‘fun, glamour and transparency’ to the political process. Their manifesto included a promise for compulsory health and beauty education for all across the UK to help us all stop looking so manky.
At number 9: The Give Me Back Elmo Party
Despite the silly name, this party has a serious aim, fighting for better rights for fathers in family courts. Then founder actually stood against the PM himself in the constituency of Witney.
In At Number 8: The Death, Dungeons and Taxes Party
This cheery sounding party has its registered address as the London dungeons and aren’t messing around with their agenda, which includes occupying France and lowering the school leaving age to nine.
At number 7: The Blah! Party
Formed in 2006 in order to allow people to vent their frustration at everyday bureaucratic nonsense. Suggestions could be made by anyone on their website which meant they had an organic and ever-growing manifesto, including proposals like banishing chav culture and making John Prescott shed some pounds.
At number 6: I Want to Drop a Blancmange Down Terry Wogan’s Y-Fronts Party
This has to win for the most out there name. Seemingly a single issue party, it appears they will never get their chance to carry out their mission now (RIP Terry). The party also had celebrity representation with actress Pamela Stephenson standing for them in 1987.
At 5: The Church of the Militant Elvis Party
Led by David Bishop, better known as Bus Pass Elvis who was sadly beaten by the smoother version of Jeremy Kyle, Robert Kilroy Silk, in the 2005 general election. They have concerns about the power of Tesco and want to imprison Cherie Blair to stop her sharing any details of her sex life.
At Number 4: The New Millennium Bean Party
Ok this is just one dude, but it still counts! The dude in question is Captain Beany, a well-known Welsh legend, whose manifesto included making all tattoos bilingual and allowing children to choose their parents. Despite having baked beans tattooed on his head he beat the UKIP candidate in the 2010 general election for the Aberavon constituency and then beat the Green candidate in 2015!
In Third: The Al-Zebabist Nation of Ooog
These guys stood in the constituency of South Thanet in 2015 against shiny-faced beer swiller Nigel Farage. They’ve been described as ‘heroin loving piss takers’ who have called for tax breaks for bearded families and for the consumption of dog meat to be legalised.
In Second: The Fancy Dress Party
This pun-tastic party started way back in the 70s and are often seen as paving the way for the Monster Raving Looneys. They’ve been a lolfest from the get-go, demanding inflatable classrooms so it’s easier for pupils to let the school down. They also support banning top up fees for students, stating they should be entitled to full pints just like everyone else.
At Number 1: The Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality
This cheery sounding bunch want the undead to have equal rights and for them to be able to marry the living (clearly they have not been following the Twilight escapades!). They formed on the basis that the electorate are treated like zombies anyway.